Posts

The Life of Everett

While obviously Everett's family and extended family of aunts and cousins saw Everett on a daily basis, or if not daily, almost daily, I was only blessed with his presence for his usual trip to Minnesota in the summer, and my couple visits to Arizona each year. But over those ten years of his life, it seemed that he was a strong and important presence in my life.In addition to the in person time, there were video calls, and following him on social media. As always, I can look back and wish I spent more time with Everett.  But also as usual we take for granted that we have all the time in the world, and especially would one assume that my grandkid would be around through my entire life.  So now I'm left with a lot of memories, some of which I will share here, if only to keep them alive for me.  We knew very early that something was not right with Everett.  He seemed like a normal happy baby. As he got to a point of being able to move around, it became obvious that he ...
Post a Comment
Read more

When do you have to stop being a kid

I love kids.  All ages.  They make me very happy.  I am sorry that my grandkids are so far away, and I don't see them enough.  My two remaining ones are now 16 and soon to be 14 years old.  Everett would also have been soon to be 14.  They are now busy with school, sports, and even a girlfriend.  But not that long ago, when I would show up for a visit, playing with the grandkids was a primary focus of my trip.  Well, and also spending time with daughters and significant others.   From the time the kids could walk, they played any sport that involved a ball, and also made up games, as I mentioned previously.  It began first with Chase.  We'd head to a field with a football, and he'd kick it, and we'd play catch.  As Coen and Everett got a bit bigger, sports typically moved to Laura and Megan's back yard.  When I was there, we'd either be in the yard playing football, or soccer, and occasionally basketball, catch with a base...
1 comment
Read more

Interesting Session

A long time friend of my kids was over last summer, and we had an interesting conversation.  He (I'll call him Doc here instead of always saying our friend)  counsels and has been using MDMA in some of his sessions.  The discussion was mostly between Doc and Sarah in the context of how MDMA has been used in therapy sessions to treat PTSD and other conditions.  The medicine got a bad rap years ago which led to it being classed as a schedule 1 drug.  But, the FDA has granted therapy designation for MDMA to facilitate more study as it has proved beneficial in certain treatments.  I don't want to go into a long explanation of MDMA and its history and uses.  You can find out all about it on the internet.  And, I feel a little guarded in what I'm saying here as there are many who probably frown upon this. Anyway, this all ties into dealing with the loss of Everett.  As you can imagine, Everett's mom and dad had the extremely heavy burden of dealing...
Post a Comment
Read more

Tragedy

 While it is not a topic that  really fits with the theme of this blog, it is difficult to not comment on the mass shooting of last Wednesday 9/27.  This one hit way too close to home.  That morning I saw a brief news clip about an active shooter at Annunciation Church, very close to where I grew up.  I was heading out to golf, and tried to get more details as to what was going on and the number of victims.  While golfing, I occasionally checked m phone for updates.  I then had a call from a good friend, Ron, who just left a short message to call him.  I figured it was something about our upcoming golf trip, and would call him later.  I then got a text from a mutual friend, informing me that Ron's 8 year old grandson, Fletcher, was killed in the shooting.  I fell apart.  I called Ron back, and could barely talk through the tears.  He had spent the morning with his daughter and family trying to track down Fletcher.  They st...
Post a Comment
Read more

Everett goes Golfing

I've never really been one to meditate.  I've tried in the past, and within ten seconds, my mind is all over the place.  At a legal seminar a while back, the speaker was raving about meditation and an  app he uses to start every day.  I decided to give it another try.  The app did help and I stuck with it for a very short while.  The one good thing that came out of it was a very simple and common breathing technique.  Inhale for a count of 4, hold for a count of 7, and exhale through your mouth for a count of 8. One night while having trouble falling asleep, I did the breathing thing.  As soon as I did the inhale and held it, Everett popped up.  "Hey papà."  It was such a strong, vivid presence.  He had his familiar grin, and it was a very happy feeling.  I'm not saying he was actually there, or that I was having visions.  I think after 3 years of sadness and grief at the loss of Everett, I was now at a better place where ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Everett on My Mind

 A couple weeks ago, Sunday July 27 to be exact, I lay in bed, sleep not coming to me, and my mind skipping from one memory to another. The subject of all these memories was my grandson Everett. I don’t know why, but Everett’s presence has been very strong recently and I even carry on conversations with him. This night he was very much with me. Then, I almost sat straight up, even more wide awake. The realization hit me that this day was the third anniversary of Everett’s death. I had tried calling Sarah earlier and no answer. I had also tried Laura also with no answer. These were my usual Sunday calls just to check in and talk (Martha being a usual Wednesday call.) I tried to sleep, but the memories would not stop.  I had a very strong clear feeling that I needed to write about this.  Not just a one day thing as to what I was thinking at the time.  But more on the order of a blog capturing some of my thoughts and feelings about Everett, and why he was and continues ...
Post a Comment
Read more